Dump the junk!

2012 was nuts! There were good times but overall it was rather ‘challenging’! Don’t you think? I just felt crazy energy, especially here in Ibiza and it felt like everyone was going bonkers, myself included. Just how many people did we see separate from their partners? Divorce rates hit the roof! The world has become a museum of broken relationships.

Work for me personally, and my team was very challenging too. We had a crazy busy season.

The more famous Passion Café becomes, the standards we have to reach become higher and higher, and being so super busy at times it is just not possible to please everyone. Sometimes it is difficult to deliver good service as the place is so busy and we all have certain human powers that sometimes cannot be exceeded. And then there are comments from customers. To some, your burger will be the best ever, others will find it all wrong.

We had compliment after compliment flooding in, every day all day long. Sometimes I actually felt overwhelmed with positive feedback, I blushed from compliments, it was heart-warming, beautiful, rewarding and you think, this is all what this all is about. But on the very rare occasion when people said not so nice things about us my world would be crashing down. I felt like I had failed. I just wanted to please everyone and hoped that everyone would have a nice experience in Passion and leave with a smile on their face. But this is very hard to achieve. Anyone that has a business will know that is almost impossible.

But one day I went mad when someone (dared!) to say that we have lost our passion! I was like, “WHAT”??!! The comment was not even constructive and it was from anonymous person who didn’t even have balls to put their name to a comment or take the chance to get feedback from me. Luckily it was in writing, as if it was said to my face I would have broken all the rules of the customer is always right and my mouth would have uttered words which only those who really know me would know what those words might have been.

You are working 12, sometimes 16 hours a day, every day, and you have no other life as it’s all about work. You fret over every dish, drink and service. You create new things every day to offer to your customers, you live, breathe, dream your work, you write and produce a costly magazine to give to people for free and you are doing your very damn best, so for someone to say you have lost your passion? I was mad! It has affected me. But it shouldn’t have. It dawned on me then that I need some inner work to do because I was taking things too personally.

Life has a much bigger plan for you. Happiness is part of that plan. Health is part of that plan. Stability is part of that plan. Constant struggle is not.

I realized I had too many thoughts that were not just unnecessary but toxic for my overall being. Occasional feelings of un-worthiness, not being good enough, not totally confident, striving for perfection were exhausting.

And the ultimate question above it all: What is my purpose?

With success of Passion cafe, the magazine, my mission to feed people better, and I thought this is it. I thought I had found myself and my purpose. My business is who I am.

I thought I had got it all worked out. But when the occasional not so good review or comment would come in, the whole process of soul searching would start over again. Because my work, meaning me, wasn’t liked by all or they have expected ‘more’.

Then one day I was reading Kris Carr’s blog and the subject about life purpose popped out.

And I realised that my purpose has nothing with what I do. Neither is yours. Hallelujah!

As Kris said ‘Your purpose is to know and love yourself on the deepest level. To know yourself so much to be able to guide yourself back home when you lose your way.

Everything else is your burning passion, your job, your hobby. Those things are important but they are not your purpose. Your purpose is much bigger than that’.

Knowing this purpose diffuses the ache of separateness that we can feel when our work is not appreciated or our efforts overlooked.’

There she said it! Story of my life!

‘Your purpose is to know and love yourself on the deepest level. To know yourself so much to be able to guide yourself back home when you lose your way’ – Kris Carr

And in what she said I realised that sometime people will love my work and sometimes they won’t. Some will like me, some will unfriend me. I will give and get nothing in return and sometimes doesn’t matter how much you give to some will never be enough. How many times are we taken for granted? How many times do people expect you to have tolerance and forgiveness for their bad manners? How many times do people confuse your niceness for your weakness?

Do you keep that junk that has been dropped on you or do you dump it and move on, knowing who you really are and loving yourself regardless that someone didn’t like the cake you lovingly made or that some bum, you actually thought was a nice person, didn’t call?

That’s life. But does that mean we have no purpose or meaning or worth? Please!

Other people’s bad reaction, perception, or treatment of you, your work, and your product is a reflection of them and has nothing to do with you. Do not take it personally because is not, unless you have bad manners (which is not cool) or you know that you have been slacking and didn’t do your best, but then you have space for improvement. And if they love you and all you do, it doesn’t matter at all if you are not going to fluff your own feathers.

Kris also said the following: ‘Your self-worth has nothing to do with your craft or calling and everything to do with how you treat yourself. I’ve met brilliant and effective activists who I have gallons of respect for but who are dirty messes inside. Mean messes. Bitter messes. Sad messes. And guess what? Their reach and impact reflects their attitude. Imagine what they could accomplish if they moved from loathing to love, if they knew that no matter how important their mission, their inner purpose matters even more. People are like plants, we all lean towards the light.’

I couldn’t agree more. ‘You are the light. I’m light. Our inner purpose is to connect with that light. Everything else will follow in time.’

Thank you Kris x

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